I live under continuous self-delusion

I am often prompted by public scandals and private conversations to wonder how on earth I have indulged in such an unrealistic situation. In order to regain my peace of mind, I immediately explain these cruel or greedy events by one-off deviancial reasons.

However, in some rare moments, I realise what a strong will-power I need to maintain the prevailing worldview in my imagination, where the actual events fall into the category of outrageous nonsenses.



Thanks to the recent scientific advances, I can improve my mental and physical health. Conscious lifestyle, effective drugs and comprehensive medical care are said to keep me fit and desirable. Meanwhile, I deliberately brush aside the fact that my organs’ biological expiry date and their unpleasant decay are actually fought by this delicate self-care.

I can jubilate about my suffrage in a democracy and I must be grateful to be born in peacetime. However, ongoing wars and evident economic and political interconnectedness keep interfering in my just and fair universe. I am supposed to walk along the streets and ignore the homeless people at the edge of starvation. I am bound to prepare honest tax declaration and pass over the continous thefts of governments. I am expected to take up 20-year mortgage and disregard the fact that none of my ancestors’ lives lacked of wars.

Life-long learning is said to boost my value on the labour market, and the opportunity of a great professional success is to compensate the endless hours spent at the desk cramming and sweating. In reality, as an employee, my earnings, pension and health-care depend utterly on my employers. Each time I contradict managers, defy the corporate culture or make a mistake, my lovelihood is at stake.

I fall in love, I make friends, I have food and cloths preferences, which all seems to be my own choices and personal features. Actually, my hobbies are indispensable for my survival. In lack of sufficient supply, these free-time activities would turn into desperate struggles to satisfy basic necessities.

On top of this, I should keep these impressions so deep in my mind that I would be able to reprimand a child doubting the beauty of life and reproaching me for the everyday hardships.




  1. I do not know of anyone who does not live under some self-delusion.

    I know of very few people who are able to be aware of the degree they delude themselves – you have done well and are to be congratulated. 🙂

    Often a certain degree of delusion is found to be necessary in order that we do not totally crack under the near constant pressures other humans place upon us in so many ways every single day.

    I mostly delude myself that i am intelligent and know a lot of things about humans and the world we live in.

    it does not help as much as i would like. 🙂


    Liked by 4 people

      • There may be an expectation amongst some people that you do, however it is not a law or in any way obligatory. Simple logic says that no-one is ever happy all of the time and therefore you have every right to not smile once in a while. 😉

        Smiling however usually costs us nothing and we do not lose anything by giving one away to someone who may appreciate it.

        This one’s on me! 😀


        Liked by 1 person

  2. Who doesn’t? I mean everyone does. Even the poor people who don’t have anything live under some sort of delusion. Maybe they dream of a nice future, which is actually bleak. On the other hand maybe they think that things will get even worse, when by the looks of it, they couldn’t be any worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I cry (metaphorically) everyday about the lack of personal time not just for me, but for us as a society. It’s like a disease, stifling creativity and snuffing out joy, and we’re spreading it around the world. Siestas, at one time common in other countries, are going the way of the dinosaur. Everything is 24/7 and everyone knows everyone else’s business. No one thinks for themselves and mob mentality rules. if this passes for quality of life, we’re all screwed. Just trying to hold my little center in the chaos of it all and create a bit of magic for myself with my writing. Sounds like you are, too. :0)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent. A very dear and long-time friend from Grad school always reminds me when we meet and ask each other how things are:
    “They lied to us”. She is totally right. 🙂
    (That includes parents, grown-ups, government and any other kind of authority…)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi. I feel like I have totally lost touch with you,your comments etc.
    I just love this. I liked it a few days ago but had to come back and say something as I have been contemplating it.
    This is a brilliant post and I hope it’s read far and wide. You are describing here, very eloquently, the proverbial “wool pulled over our eyes.”
    World “governments ” want us to feel this way . Only a few people will ever wake up to what is going on, and even then-what do you? Do you have an army, a fleet, an airforce , the backing of 1000s of bankers along with your own money that you CAN LITERALLY print whenever you want?
    So heartbreakingly , they will always win. They are a gang with the biggest numbers and brute force behind them.
    We are meant to feel simultaneously “free” yet surreptitiously trapped. Trapped even to the point where we don’t realise we are. That is the best type of prison.
    The best type of starvation, homelessness and depression : where you don’t even know you are experiencing it and can thus be ever so easily controlled.
    And as long as we are all teetering on the edge of perpetual despair, we’ll never wake up to what is truly going on in the world.

    That is why focusing on our own family, loved ones and microcosm is the only way to remain sane and somewhat free from the chains that are binding is to these lies.
    Excellent post.
    Stay in touch 😊

    Liked by 2 people

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